Not to mention the long-desired Manic Depressive PR Exec Divorcée Barbie and Resentful Proctologist Barbie and Bloated Don't-You-Freaking-Touch-Me PMS Barbie and Desperately Lonely National Security Advisor 'Condi' Barbie, with bonus Spinning Head feature. That's right, it's Mattel's latest Wiccan-flavored mutation of the famous and famously obnoxious pneumatic blond dingbat, joining the likes of Barbie Loves Spongebob Squarepants and the Barbie Romance Novel Giftset and Princess of the Portuguese Empire Barbie and Spirit of the Earth Barbie (all genuine items, alas). You do? Well Jesus with an orgasmic wolf howl and some heavy goth eyeliner, are you ever in luck.īecause just in time for Halloween and just in time to make a few thousand hyper-Christian parental brows furrow with consternation and spiritual constipation, and just in time to make any true Wiccan roll her eyes and flick this story away like so much bad juju, here comes Secret Spells Barbie. Do you long to be an 'ordinary schoolgirl' by day who 'transforms at night' into some sort of scary pink-robed glittery giggly perky blond pseudo-witch 'magical enchantress' thing, perusing your 'book of spells' with its plethora of 'mysterious compartments' that 'hold your secrets,' along with recipes for concocting real potions 'you can actually drink?'
